Snippets Of Me

My Ride on God's Rollercoaster.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

It's been such a rollercoaster this past 2 months, with my feelings and thoughts in a typhoon, whirling erotically at a speed of 300 km/h. There were so many times I felt like God was trying to play some prank on me, yet just as many times I felt like He really was on my side. So many things have happened that I don't know what's real and what's not anymore.

Could it be myself desperately deluding myself or are they genuine facts?

I hate that I feel like this.
I hate that I think like this.
I feel so trapped.
So lost.
So pathetic.

I don't want to have this love-hate relationship with my maker. I don't want to distance myself from Him just because I'm constantly in doubt. I don't want to be some stubborn brat that won't give in. I don't want be so caught up thinking that I neglect everything else.

But why is it so hard to not be all those 'I don't wants' ?

Rachel wrote in the pages of her life at 11:10 PM

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