Snippets Of Me

Not gonna write you a love song

Sunday, February 17, 2008

I was sitting through mass today and for once in a very long time, I felt like I was there because I had to be. Everytime the weekend comes around, I find myself going on this rollercoaster ride of emotions. Frankly, I'm tired of it. It has to stop. Yet, there are so many questions that I need answers to but have no guts to ask. Where has Little Miss Brave cowered away to?

There must be at least a thousand reasons to choose the logical and most practical way. Unfortunately with the heart, those are the the last things on the list. If there was a need to discipline the heart, I'd probably need a good lashing by now. Or more.

It's sad that I always believe in you, but you prove the devil sitting on my shoulder right every single time.
It's sad that I feel like a utility rather than a necessity.
It's sad that I seem to need you more than you do me.
It's sad that I continue to live in denial despite knowing I am.

Breakaway.

Or my heart and my head would never find reconciliation.

Is that why you wanted a love song
Cos you asked for it
Cos you need one you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
Cos you tell me it's make or breaking this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If your heart is no where in it
I don't want it for a minute
Babe, I'll walk the seven seas
When I believe that there's a reason to
Write you a love song today
Today.

-Sarah Bareilles

Rachel wrote in the pages of her life at 2:06 AM

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