Snippets Of Me

Nostalgia

Friday, December 05, 2008

It's 3am and I find myself listening to Chris Cendana's version of Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas and surfing Facebook. It's a lethal combination for nostalgia to strike. I saw how much of so many of the friends I used to know have changed. Some have gone on to pursue their dreams, some lost weight and some still show hints of the personalities that I used to know in their dressing.

Change seems to be the topic on everybody's minds these days with Obama's assurance of it to them ignorant Americans. I'm not fond of change. I dislike it because there's the fear of the unknown.

Perhaps it's the reason why I don't particularly like reunions with friends from secondary school and even in poly especially since it really wasn't that long ago that I graduated. I don't know how to communicate change and I fear that I won't know how to respond to the changes in others. It's particularly difficult with friends from the teenage years since it's in those years that we form and become the people that we would like to be after years and years of overcoming the rage of hormones.

I hardly think I'm the same person that I was when I was 16, neither do I expect my fellow 'counterparts' to be. I guess the scariest thing would be to find that everyone seems to have been able to find and express who they truly are while I still find myself as lost as I was 5 years ago.

Oh dear. Nostalgia can be toxic too.

Rachel wrote in the pages of her life at 2:58 AM

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