Snippets Of Me

A1c Phobic

Friday, February 20, 2009

I can't help but feel more and more nervous as Saturday approaches. It's like waiting the release of the results of some major examination. It's rather similar in that sense because I'll be taking an A1c reading at the doctor's office on Saturday when I meet with Warren for a routine review.

My last number was 7.1 which jumped from a 6.3 in a month because of some bad choices that I made during that 4 week period. I really don't know what to expect since my day to day BSLs were rather ugly looking prior to February. Holidays can make your numbers look really atrocious because I tested less and didn't really monitor what I ate. I reckon I was running about 13s to 14s most of the time.

The A1c reading's like a benchmark for everything. If it's bad, take more medication. If it's bad, take complementary tests to make sure nothing else has gone wrong. Worst of all, if it's bad, it injures my morale terribly.

When I was 13 years old or so, back then when I used to administer insulin with a syringe and mix fast acting and slow acting insulin, and before rebellion set in, I would take my BSLs rather regularly. I remember that I would have horrendous looking pre dinner glucose levels and would feel really terrible about it. I had no idea what the heck to do about it and why it just seemed so darn difficult to get decent numbers. I didn't know how to deal with the disappointment of being hyperglycaemic that it made the situation worse because it made me not want to test since it was going to be the same result at the end of the day.

Perhaps this is the reason why I'm a sort of an A1c-phobic. If at the end of the day, it would still seem impossible, then why am I even trying so hard?

Rachel wrote in the pages of her life at 12:02 AM

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