Snippets Of Me

Patience and Love

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Quite honestly, I don't like who I am right now. I might have said some things that were hurtful. I didn't know that if I wanted to persevere in one aspect of my life, it meant persevering everything. I think in many aspects I could argue that I'm right, when in fact one could argue otherwise.

I wouldn't share explicitly about what I'm talking about since it doesn't just concern me. Perhaps you could help sort the mess that's in my mind right now. If you're let down over and over again by the people you love, do you give up or persevere in love? The answer seems simple and yet terribly difficult when there are so many reasons for you to just walk away. At which point does 'enough is enough' warrant throwing in the towel?

Suddenly my memory bank refers to the book that I'm reading now called 'From the Angel's Blackboard', a compilation of Fulton J. Sheen's books that he wrote when he was still alive. He talked about patience in a way that I never saw it before. He mentioned that in our trials where suffering seems to hold no meaning, God calls us to be patient, just like He's always been with us. If our patience just needed us to wait for the storm to subside, then His patience would be like waiting for an infant to become and elderly man. It's given me a brand new perspective on the meaning of patience, not just with personal suffering, but with people as well. It would be foolish should I think that this holds no relevance for the issue at hand.

St. Paul speaks right to the core of the issue in Romans 12:9-10. 'Let love be without any pretense. Avoid what is evil; stick to what is good. In brotherly love let your feelings of deep affection for one another come to expression and regard others as more important than yourself.'

The message is pretty clear cut. I love how he places the issue of morality as the means to which friendship should be governed. I don't claim to know what's right all the time, which some may mistake for self righteousness, but I do know what's important. I know that keeping myself alive and well's important and that there's more to life than just indulgence. It took me a while to reject it, but in this courage to be able to do that, there were some crosses to bear as well.

If love is without pretense, then it should be more important than myself. More important than what makes me comfortable but in this struggle become an expression of love to them.

Oh God, this wasn't meant to be easy, was it?

Rachel wrote in the pages of her life at 12:12 AM

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