Snippets Of Me

Bad Choices

Sunday, March 08, 2009

I often run into a problem of not wanting to be truthful with myself about the state of my health. Many times, it's only a month or two down the road that I come to terms with this state of denial that I've allowed myself to sink in to, and then going through that whole cycle of taking corrective action in changing the things that I eat, how often I exercise, etc.

To break out of this vicious cycle, I thought I'd better address it before I find myself sitting in Warren's office with yet another horrible looking A1C.

I've mentioned before that things can take a 180 degree turn in my state of health within a matter of hours. Eg, from a hypo to a hyper if I overeat to treat a low or did not give enough bolus for it.

My numbers have been on a major rollercoaster this past week. From hypos at 4pm to hypers of 11-16 before I sleep. Since the hypos are still a work in progress, it's the hypers that's a trend that needs to stop. It's been the worst serial case of hypers that I've had in about 6 weeks. I could blame it on having a more relaxed week and dined out more, or that it's the changes in the basal, but I guess deep down, I know that it's really because of the choices that I've made this week. I know some of you who I've dined with over the week read my blog and you don't have to feel bad if we chose to eat at these places together, because I take full responsibility for not choosing better.

I really shouldn't have had Carl's Junior for dinner on Tuesday. I couldn't have crippled my body more with the amount of sodium and fat in that meal. Chocolate bread wasn't a wise choice for a snack because the chocolate filling was sugar loaded and the carbohydrates in the bread didn't make it any better. I chose to eat more than I had already eaten by adding another serving of carbohydrates over the past 7 days which were fried and really could have been excluded from my meals. Carbohydrate loaded meals at Little India was manageable, only if I didn't choose to eat so much carbohydrate that was on the table. A little too much Naan and Briyani rice. I knew it, but chose to eat it anyway.

It's one thing to give my body some sort of break once in a while, but all these choices over the course of just a week? Probably not. At some point, I know that it's not worth the compromise. I still want to achieve my goal of having lower LDLs by May! I need to stop this right now. I'm going back to soups, salads and homecooked meals tomorrow. Pray for me!

Rachel wrote in the pages of her life at 9:24 PM

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