Snippets Of Me

Diabetes and Weight Loss

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

DIABETES HIGHS

Losing weight is always a good thing. Right?
I often hear from out-of-control diabetics that they are losing weight. How can losing weight be a bad thing? They must be thinking, “Gosh, I don’t want to be a fat diabetic.” Would it surprise you to know that they are really saying, “I want to look good while I die.” As I dig a little deeper with these folks, they are typically out of control and continuously running high blood sugars. They will then note that they feel light headed and funny when their blood sugar goes below 90. They are scared of running too low and passing out. What they do instead is run on the high side and unwittingly and painlessly destroy their body, sight, and organs.

This is an excerpt from a book titled 'The Joy of Diabetes'. I wanted to post this because it reminded me of a point in time of my life that I've never shared with anybody. Does a mental check to double confirm the claim. Yes. I've never shared this with anyone before. It might take a while to explain some technicalities, but bear with me.

What happens with diabetics when they're constantly hyper is that they start to lose weight. The author of this book, Bob Hawkinson explains it quite clearly. I'll just rip his version of what causes the loss of weight here.

Their bloodstream is full of sugar molecules but not enough insulin. Insulin is the key to the door of all cells, particularly those of muscle, fat, and liver tissues. Without it, sugar molecules stay outside cells and can’t get in to provide energy. Thus, even though their bloodstream is full of sugar (potential energy), their cells are literally starving even as their blood sugar level is continually elevated.

Then a vicious cycle starts. With all this extra sugar in the bloodstream your body senses that something is out of balance. Sugar attracts water. As the blood sugar level rises in the bloodstream, water moves from inside the cells, joining the circulating sugar. The kidneys now have to work harder to rid the body of this excess volume of water in the circulatory system. The new dehydrated cells send messages to the brain indicating the need for more water. This is why a diabetic with high blood sugars will be extremely thirsty and have to urinate often.

With the technicalities over with, let's dig a little deeper to the real reason why some diabetics allow themselves to keep being high. I felt that Bob failed to nail the issue right on the head perhaps because he didn't go through it. I shall attempt to do so with my own experience.

When I hit about 13 or 14, I started to become really conscious about my weight. One of the things about insulin therapy back then with the twice a day jabs and when you didn't really have a clear idea of what was going on with your body due to the limited technology, it packed pounds onto your body. In other words, insulin made you fat. I jumped about 20kg in a year and a half!

I won't deny it. Getting through puberty with diabetes sucked big time. Thus far, I can honestly say that it was the worst phase of my life. Having to deal with finding your identity especially in an all girls school can be really stressful let alone having to deal with the unpredictability of the effects of the disease. When people would pass remarks about how I've put on weight, it really did take root in me. I guess at that age, even though I told myself that I was strong, I acted otherwise. The result of the self consciousness led to me deliberately not taking my insulin just so that it would make me lose weight.

I felt horrible most of the time because I was lethargic and drinking so much water that made me pee like 4 times an hour because my body was trying to get rid of all that sugar that it could not use out of my system. When my nurses questioned me about it, I simply dismissed it with forgetting to do my jabs.

Forgetting and deliberately not wanting to do it are two very different things. Right now, about 5 years after going through that phase, I still think that doctors and diabetes nurses are oblivious of this fact - that some patients, especially the female ones, deliberately not do their jabs because they want to lose weight to 'look good'.

Young and stupid? This must be one of the lessons that I had to learn the hard way. This whole not taking my jabs thing caused my A1cs to hit a 12 - 13 range and caused some complications with my kidneys.

Nevertheless, after I got out of it, it made me appreciate it. I would never have learnt that my looks are the least important part of the equation. If how I look in a dress is what equates me to being desirable, then I'm pretty sure you're not what I'm looking for. I would never have learnt to be 'thick-skinned' about rude remarks that really don't matter at the end of the day. If how I look is going to determine if I'm in your clique, then I really don't think the friendship would last.

I would never have learnt that God loves me just the way I am. Fat, tall, skinny, short, fat thighs, big arms or humongous ass. Part of struggling with this gave God lots of avenues to constantly remind me that I'm loved not for how I look.

Please don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that it's ok to be overweight. Again, exercising for your well-being and exercising just for the sole purpose of losing weight are two very very different things. I'm sticking to the former.

Rachel wrote in the pages of her life at 1:36 AM

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